Leaps of Faith: Summer in Seoul
“I cry out to God Most High, to God who will fulfill his purpose for me.”
Psalm 57:2
Certain moments in life seem to come full circle.
I don’t always know what those moments are, however they are moments in which God displays his immense glory and power to those witnessing the fruition of these blessings.
I write this entry on the eve of my arrival to a new adventure, to a new chapter in my life that, at this time, seems to be one that will be defining moment in my journey, in my pursuit of personal and spiritual growth.
This new chapter is entitled, ‘Summer in Seoul’.
The beginning of this circle begins in elementary school, with a visiting teacher who taught my classmates and I about Korea through a variety of games, foods, and words. I remember heading to school early in the morning and arriving to my classroom where Mr. Cho was preparing pajeon, a type of seafood pancake. I remember the little trinkets I played with to pass the time. I remember seeing a South Korean flag for the first time on a patch, one that I still have to this day.
In high school, I was introduced further to Korean culture through music, food, and language. I started forming a desire to visit South Korea to enjoy all the new things I was learning about. This interest continued on into my time in undergrad, however the interest never amounted to anything beyond wishful thinking.
As a disciple, especially in my senior year of college, I often thought about how awesome it would be to combine my love of God and my interest in Korean culture. I’d have conversations with people about how awesome it would be to take a couple months to travel to the different church regions in South Korea to spend time with disciples and get to experience faith and discipleship in another land and culture. I was advised to set intentions to God, to keep it firm in my mind that it would happen as long as I prayed earnestly and deeply for it.
Fast forward to the end of my first semester in grad school, an opportunity arose where a grant came into play as a way to combine my interests, academic pursuits, and spiritual goals. Of course I’d go hard for it right?
Well...though it seemed to be perfect, it was almost too perfect. Like, how could I even receive an opportunity like that? Can I even build connections with disciples in Seoul to help me? Will I even get this grant? Is it worth it to try? These questions plagued my mind everyday, and I was close to just giving up entirely….
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Why is it that the things that scare us most end up being the things that we are called to do?
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God calls us to be bold, to take chances, to do things (within reason) that scare us so that we may grow in our faith and show his power and faithfulness through those trials.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
2 Timothy 1:7
The things that scare us the most become amazing opportunities for us to grow our faith. When we strive to be better for God, we see amazing things happen, whether we expect them to or not.
“Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:7
I was initially so full of doubt and desired to have every aspect of this summer go as smoothly as possible, however imperfections in what we deem to be “ideal” provide opportunities for us to cling onto God even more, and learn to surrender to Him.
There were so many what-ifs, what-about this-type questions, and many more thoughts that ran through my head. They scared me. I didn’t want to pray for something so desperately if it wasn't meant to happen. I felt like I’d be disappointing all the people praying for me and for this summer if it ended up not working out.
But, at the end of the day, I had to try and let it go to God. I had to surrender to the fact that He makes the decisions and will inevitably make clear the path He wants me on. I learned that it’s okay if my summer didn't work out because at the end of the day, I learned how to do something incredibly bold and scary and that challenge to my spirituality in itself would be worth the experience.
As I finish writing this, on an airplane, on my way to Seoul, what I can say is this:
This leap of faith, this pursuit of a new chapter in my life, will bring forth many memories, lessons, and cherished moments that all contribute to the end goal of being closer to God.
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